Tips for Building Strong Relationships with Your HOA Board

Do you feel like you’re hitting a wall when attempting to communicate with HOA board members?
How you interact and exchange information with your HOA board is just as important as the content you’re trying to get across. If you feel ignored, try changing how you interact with the board to improve your relationship and get better results. Keep reading for some simple ways to improve relationships with your HOA board.

Don’t Be a Pest

Getting calls while sitting down for dinner with the family is the worst! Avoid calling or texting board members at inconvenient times–this is a surefire way to annoy them! The HOA president doesn’t want to discuss your fence request during her Sunday barbecue. The maintenance guy doesn’t appreciate calls at 10 pm about non-emergency issues.
Save those emergency numbers for actual emergencies–water pouring through the ceilings or dangerous conditions. For everything else, stick to business hours and proper channels. This basic courtesy puts you ahead of most neighbors right from the start.

Solve Problems, Don’t Just Point Them Out

Board members dread the homeowners who only complain. “The landscaping looks terrible!” Okay, but what should we do about it? How much will it cost? Where should the money come from?
The neighbors who get results always bring solutions alongside their problems. Suggest specific schedule changes that work better instead of just griping about the pool hours. Rather than simply complaining about parking, offer some realistic enforcement ideas.
Before sending that concerned email, check whether your answer already exists somewhere. Many questions are covered in community guidelines, recent newsletters, or meeting minutes. Coming prepared instantly separates you from the people every board tries to avoid.

Keep Your Cool, Even When It’s Hard

Angry all-caps emails and uncomfortable confrontations at meetings rarely accomplish anything beyond making the sender look unreasonable.
Even when frustrated, keep communications businesslike. Specific beats are vague every time: “The sprinkler system by building three runs daily despite recent heavy rain” works better than “You people waste water everywhere!”
Face-to-face talks need special care. Remember, you’ll keep seeing these neighbors around the community. The person you blast today might be at your block party tomorrow. Staying composed helps board members focus on fixing problems rather than managing their emotions.

Throw Some Appreciation Their Way

Board members hear plenty about what’s wrong but rarely what’s right. A simple acknowledgment when things go well makes you memorable in the best way.
Next time a request gets handled promptly or a project finishes successfully, send a quick “thanks for taking care of that” note. Mention positive accomplishments during meetings. These small gestures stand out dramatically against the backdrop of complaints most volunteers receive.

Remember, They Have Lives Too

That treasurer reviewing your request also has a full-time job, family obligations, and a personal life. Cornering board members about association business during their kid’s soccer game crosses important boundaries.
Similarly, expecting instant responses ignores reality. Most board members review community matters during specific times they’ve carved out from busy schedules. Respecting these boundaries shows you understand their volunteer status.
Board members also handle sensitive information about neighbors, finances, and legal matters. Pushing for details they can’t ethically share undermines trust. Respect confidentiality requirements even when curiosity tempts you otherwise.

When You Don’t Like Their Decisions

When you live in a community, it’s important to remember that you won’t always get what you want.  Conflict is unavoidable; it’s how you manage it that matters. Influence how the board members perceive you.
Remember to listen first and try to understand why a decision was made before you oppose it. If a rule seems arbitrary, try asking for an explanation instead of being confrontational. Understanding the reasons could surprise you or help you create a stronger counterargument.
When expressing your concerns, focus on the impact in the broader community, rather than personal inconvenience. Board members are more receptive to arguments that show you are considering the entire neighborhood, because they must consider all homeowners.

Accept When It’s Over

After thorough discussion, sometimes decisions still don’t go your way. Accepting outcomes respectfully, even while disagreeing, preserves your credibility for future issues that matter more.
Repeatedly bringing up settled matters gets you quickly labeled as “that homeowner” nobody wants to deal with. Pick your battles carefully to maintain influence when it truly counts.

Making Fresh Starts Count

Transitions create perfect relationship opportunities. When new people join the board, introduce yourself briefly. If you’ve recently moved in, connecting with board members during your settling-in period establishes positive foundations.
These moments provide excellent chances to reset relationships if previous interactions caused tension.

The Whole Neighborhood Benefits

Better board relationships don’t necessarily require substantial time commitments. Attend your next meeting just to listen. Join a committee that interests you. Send a brief email thanking someone for recent improvements.
These modest efforts build toward more responsive governance and a genuinely better living experience. While complete agreement remains rare in any neighborhood, these approaches create foundations for working together productively even when viewpoints differ.
For more information about Neighborhood Management’s approach to community association management, call 972-359-1548 or visit NeighborhoodManagement.com.